Dot . . The End !

I lost a lover, and didn't know weither I gained a friend or no .
My Lover wasn't like any other . . was my best friend .. My first thought in the morning and my last at night . . A childish innocent devil . . a pure angel in a human's figure . .! basically mine was some one u regret losing . .

I lost a lover . .But I lost a friend . . & Not any friend .. the best there is . . ! when I lost my Best friend . . I had no one 2 say Morning , good night , I passed , I failed , I'm sick , I'm happy and I'm hurt . .! I simply hated my sell-phone . . left to ring with no answer from me . . & and for the weirdest reason when I do check my mobile . . it's for the phone call or sms that will never come . . !

So a day after hearing the famous phrase ( we need to talk ) I went 2 the uni an hour be4 my class , simply because I couldn't sleep the day before, I kept walking around with my ipod playing all kind of sad love song; when this car stopped in front of me . .with two of my oldest friends . . a Queen Bracelet and a movie-Icecream date . .that what they offered !
I went 2 class & my friends were trying 2 cheer me up . . Not that they knew what's wrong . . but becouse a sad me . . is not a version of me that they like to see . . ! After that I took my 2 girl-friends & shared a coffee with them , , where I found anthor friend who Knew , who forced me to eat since I couldn't remember the last thing that entered my throat . . !

I lost a lover . . and hopefully I didn't lose my best-friend . . coz the friend my lover was is really missed . . ! Maybe time is wrong . .maybe soon will come a day when I stop thinking of every word I say to him . . & be the girl that he first met . . Nothing we know about each-other except our names .. & start again as friends ! I can't be sorry for crossing the lines of friendship because I don't really regret being his girl . . !

So my ex Lover , my new friend ;
Do forgive me . . for still not finding a ground to stand on . . and just move on . . I shall find a one soon . . untill then . . do keep in mind . . that I don't mean to hurt u , I don't enjoy hurting loved ones . . ! Stay . . and soon I'll stay too . . and a new page might erase it all . . and a new book begin . . !

My Girls . . !
Thanx for having my back . . with no questions asked . . thanx for caring , loving and adoring me in my worst shapes . .
I'm grateful for today . . I'm grateful forever . . ! Hope God protects you . . coz u are so very precious to me .

{ I can't bear to lose the precious time we spent togather . . ~

G for Glory , ,

I've been there & I've done that . . I reached the top and didn't like it there . . ( Too cold :p )I took every little step that cost me so very much . . Yet I kept on going !struggled to reach the end ! And let me tell you people the top is much different from the bottom . . ! People are cruel , but they have been this way from the begining of time . . So it's very foolish of you to give their opinions any values . . It has to be you . . & only you, whom you atr trying to please . . you are spending ur whole life stuck with urself, so you are the one you should be trying to win approval from . . !
Glory . . is not something u buy with money . . It's a great honour that comes from within . . !

* Have been through so much Lately . . ! excuse my unrelated thoughts

*Taken By: rivera

F for Fairy

It was hard to choose a word . . I didn't really have much in mind . . I was thinking Fashion, Fair, Fond . . But I settled of Fairy , , Partly because I'm reading a fairy story at the moment , I'm a day dreamer . .I dream almost 24/7 . . One second I'm in Qatar . . the next I'm having corrosant in a coffee shop infront the evil tower with a lover . . the creature that was born for me and only me . . !


If you can be any where u want .. If u say the name of the place and you are there . . to jump through time and place . . where will u be ?


Honestly . . I'm not really that creative . . I want to have breakfast in France , walk around In Spain in the street shops with friend . . buying old antics and flirting with those old men , by noon I'll be a model on the runaway . . wearing Channel's last design , Have launch in Japan wearing the traditional Kimono and exchanging conversation using my poor Japanese, walking on the beaches of a Caribbean Island , dancing around with them , having a candle light dinner on top on a mountain , skii and skating everywhere, visiting every Place on Earth that is worth visiting . . and meeting all sort of ppl there is . . !



In the end . . No beautiful place on Earth I'd wait to be , , that is more breathtaking than the arms of a loved one .

E for Enemy . . ~

The fact is I am myself's worst enemy . . I know that but I choose to neglected . . I stopped Caring on the things in me that is difficult to fix ; such as my health . . and Started to focus on the things I can accomplish like being a straight A student . . I don't mind being a Nerdi as long as I am a nerdi with Class :P

Sometimes I think that I am blind , not being able to see how smart and extradoinary person I am ! But again if I was really Lucky I wouldn't be lost in the maze of my matured mind ! Life taught me that being a good honest girl who puts everyone's needs before her own . . is nothing but a loser . . Because those days " البشر صـار يـأكلها البـشر " I never let anyone gets that close to me . . no matter how much friends I've got . . I am scorpion so I'm very hard to understand . . and I do learn my lessons very well . . I do admit that I've let a friend to be that close to me to the point that my back was an easy target since we both exchanged full trust . . after that I've grown to be a heartless Lady yet a very warm one . . Nothing hurts more than the betrayal of a friend . . I don't think I'd have been that hurt if I was stapped by a lover . . but again . . I am a different person than most of the people I've met . . & I got to say I had my share of unique people . . to the point that I stopped worrying and desiring to belong . . I just figured out that people like me don’t' really belong . . and what is wrong about that ? I am just special . . which is a good thing :D coz that makes me interesting on some level and One of a kind . . ~

I'm sorry if I sound like I'm full of myself but I am not . . If I was. . I wouldn't call myself to be the "Enemy"

Ps: Photo taken by : anja

C for Coffee

A handful of coffee , a teaspoon of cream and bench of Sugar !

On second thought aloooooot of sugar . . If life is not planning 2 be sweet to me , I don't mind having to extra sweet my coffee . ! I am a coffee-holic & No , I am not planning to quit , 12 steps of treatment are not an option ! It's my morning ritual and I am not giving it up . . I own alot of Cups and each has a story , some were a gifts and others were a memory . . No one dare to speak to me before my morning coffee , and awaking the anger of a coffee-holic by not letting her enjoy her coffee / and how picky I can be . Oh dear I'm not proud to say I've taken my coffee back to the coffee shop alot of times because it didn't satisfy my taste . .It's my sweet drug , my Long nights companion and my morning's mate . . I've always dreamt of living across a coffee house ! Owning that coffee house , naming it , choosing the theme,managing the place and waitering as well . Watching those who are regulars to my coffee Place go though their lifes ,their ups and downs , to witness the events of their future .A Wedding , a grudging , a birth . . . etc
I've sworn that once I get my own house I'll get a room outside that looks like a mini coffee shop with all the machines and decoration , , ~

U . . see ? Coffee to me is not just a drink my dear friends . . it's a way of life .

Excuses me now I have a cup of Cappuccino waiting for me .

B is for " Blessing in disguise "

Paper due-s , First exams , lot of homework and a ton of Quizzes. Busy ~ Busy ~ Busy !

No more room for anything else . . I admit I didn't appreciate time before now . .Some times I think this semester is a curse . . I hardly spend time with friends or family . . and on the other hand I think it might be a blessing in disguise :O It sure takes me for my uni which is known as Hell on Earth and the shallow world that I am living in !

Maybe because I'm very busy I don't notice the things I dislike any more ,mostly in the uni , coz after all I spend a big amount of time there ! Girls in QU are from different worlds . . they sure make you stare and think . . In the end of eachday sepent there I have to say
I am very thankful for god for whom I've become ~ a successful lady who are proud of what she is and what she accomplished . . and only work to please Allah and my parents.


{What seems to us bitter trials are often blessings in disguise. - Oscar Wilde

A for attitude

So many words has been hiding in my heart for long. I don't know where to begin. Even now that I am typing those letters , releasing the secret of a lifetime for some reason I wish I can rewind and rewrite ever line. Now that I am nineteen , now that I'll be twinty after few months , am I the woman I want to be ? Haven’t I been a Lady from Birth , a woman through teenage years ?

So many Questions cross my mind every second of the day . I hardly can be apart from my unsilent thoughts , They sure have alot to say . Sometimes I really wish that I can mute the voice in my head . But will I be in ease when that irritating noise of that voice disappears ?

Alot to say , alot of thing buried within the layers in my hearts waiting to be revealed.